Orange Geisha

On the fifth day of May I was bathed and baptized beneath the spout of an orange waterfall. I sat in Oshun. I walked through her sweet waters, gave her candy and honey, left a piece of myself with her...




There is this forest on Cascade Rd. that has this magical waterfall. I went there for the first time with my wise orange wild haired sister, and my tormented possessed mask wearing sister. That was another time. This time I went with my roommate, my sister of ... I'm still trying to figure that out, but she's my sister in Oshun. I brought with me an orange journal that I was instructed to burn. It was filled with poetry, sappy love poems written about the last man I dated. I hated how it felt to read them, so I had kept it in a crate in my room, never to be disturbed. Then I was told that I should do a ritual with the help of Oshun, burning the journal, setting me free.

Turns out, the ritual itself was about so much more than releasing him. It was about embracing her, and by 'her' I mean me.

I thought that I would burn the journal to a crispy ash, but it was very resistant to the flame. The paper was very thick in the beautifully bound, hand crafted journal, I hated to burn it. The embers lingered as the wind blew the flames out each time. Thick smoke stretched up to the sky like longing fingers, burning my eyes, causing rivers to flow.

Alone, I was instructed to tear out the pages with the most pain-filled writings and torch them completely. I then submerged what was left of the burning smoking journal into the fallen water, and spoke with the entities that had been guiding me; there were five of them.

I sat next to my sister on an orange mat on a rock in the middle of the waterfall and wiped the tears from my eyes. As I began to write, I felt waves of pleasure moving throughout my body. I smiled, I jumped, I divined, I prayed, I loved myself so hard.

More self cultivation in conjunction with meditation is now needed.


E.

Facebook Fantasy Lives

Okay. So I was down with facebook way back when Tom was running it, way back when it was something special for college students, way back before everybody and their momma had a page, before celebrity pages and fan pages. Ahhh.. the nostalgia gets me every time.

Now I find myself fed up with the endless nonsense facilitated by facebook. It's like fucking spam. I continually reach this brink, seconds away from closing my facebook account, at least once a week. Then I think about the people who may only contact me through this means, the marketing potential, and I chicken out.
Fuck.

I see people using their status reports, relationship statuses, quotes, etc. to relay certain messages. "I'm cool" "I'm original" "I'm gay" "I'm liked and accepted" or whatever. Backhanded comments indirectly shot at folks like daggers through status updates. Cowardly love notes. The fucking internet is enriching and simultaneously ruining my life... Alright, maybe not ruining, but def making more interesting... No more hiding behind profiles and playlists and "about me" sections. Fuck. Connect, people.

E.

Yellow Sneakers

I'm not really sure how I got to this place. I speak to the development of my relationship with myself, as well as my relationships with others. It is so uncanny to me that I, the one who was such an "uncool" girl in junior high school and the beginning of high school, am now... who I am. I mean, I'm still weird and awkward, but being that I have accepted those attributes and others as valuable, others seem to follow suit and recognize my value as well.

And some are still clueless.

Like there is this one girl, woman? No, girl... there's this girl that I am mildly interested in who shall remain unnamed... I saw her at a club, but knew her previously through various interrelated relationships. Being who and how I am, I did not approach her on some flirtatious shit, smiling in her face, pressing my ass against her, hoping to solidify her interest in me... not my steelo, I'm no dick rider. I could sense that she might have been filled with her own essence, beginning to spill over... and I did nothing for her ego... I didn't speak to her with words, I spoke with my eyes... gestures... vibrations... I could sense that her ego may have been bruised, so I sent her an electronic love note... to which she responded with disrespect and egotism. (Which is why I am only mildly interested at this point.) I should have never fed the goblin. (More on the goblin in the future.) It will be interesting to see how she responds to me if/when I see her again... maybe at a certain party this Friday... Perhaps I'll dance with her this time. :-)

E.

Jarring Jimi Justifications

There is so much happening in my world all at once, difficult to deal with all in one mixing bowl, so I find myself compartmentalizing. Usually I allow my peas to play with the mac and cheese and the juice from the greens to seep into my cornbread on my plate of life. I feel a need to restore order, focus, Onyx attributes.

My sister will be delivering my first nephew/godson in a few short weeks. I must put myself in this wisdom-holding place, wisdom-gathering too.

I'll be traveling this weekend, back home is what I call it now. Back to the womb that birthed me. My mother-town. Milwaukee. I am always lavished with love when I go there.


I am so saturated with sisterhood. I am in love with myself, my woman, my womb, my curves. I am honored by and grateful for all of the beautiful ways that this is being manifested before me. Even the judgments and separation are only the lingering parts of myself that cling for dear life, like energetic hooks in my aura... I release you.

I am in love with life, and her, and everything that I am working for right now.

I am excited about where my writing is going. Where I'm going.

You don't know me, but I have this greatness and power and prowess that you may or may not understand. That's okay. But that doesn't make me lame, it makes you lame, for I am only you reflected back to yourself for you to see.